The thing with poems is that I usually just take random fragments and string them together. I think about the placement of the words and the meaning they give each line but that’s about it. I don’t look for deeper meaning. I think about a general theme or emotion I want the final piece to evoke but ultimately I don’t write towards it until I have lines I can move around to create it.
This one started out as lyrics from a song then to words from old fics I saved for later
I ended up deleting the list of them because they were awful and words that came to me as I did chores. It’s a method I’ve come to appreciate since it allows me to think of other things besides the poem. The idea is I let the words or phrases stand out on their own from the daily influx of language I get on a daily basis.
It also mimics the way I naturally am. I don’t know how long I’ve been doing it but it’s only recently that I’ve come to accept it as a daily routine of mine whenever I’m listening to music or with other people. I’ll focus on certain things they say and repeat them in my head, over and over again.
It might be a coping mechanism for my anxiety, idk.
When I was younger I’d trace the word on whatever surface was available, mostly it was my thigh. I’ve stopped the tracing but I haven’t stopped repeating words. It can make conversation difficult, especially when I suddenly forget the phrase and I end up ignoring people as I try to remember it.